The Selfie on the Mount: Is it time to die to selfies?

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So Jesus and his besties head off to a stunning mountain location for a publicity launch. Their ministry is really kicking off. They are receiving thousands of followers. Folk like their stuff. Everyone is sharing their content. Jesus is going viral. Here’s what happened at the promo!

Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and they posed for a selfie. His communications team quickly shared it in social media: #how2Bawesome

Jesus said.

  • Blessed are the self-confident, for them anything is possible.
  • Blessed are those who always look happy and fulfilled, for they will be considered successful.
  • Blessed are the determined, for they will inherit the earth.
  • Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for acclaim, for they will be noticed.
  • Blessed are those who promote themselves, for they will get there eventually.
  • Blessed are the ambitious in heart, for they will see their goals fulfilled.
  • Blessed are the tolerant, for they will be considered good.
  • Blessed are those who are praised because of political correctness, for theirs is the praise of all people.

Jesus then went on to teach his followers the art of virtue signalling.

“Be careful to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. Whenever you do something good – e.g. raise money for a cause, help a homeless person, or run a community event – make sure you take a pic, post the pic online, hashtag it, and encourage your followers to share it. If you do, you will have great reward from your followers on social media. You will get lots of likes.

“So when you give to the needy, announce it on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to be honoured by others. Truly I tell you, you have received your reward in full. But when you give to the needy, let everyone know what you are doing, so that your giving may be not be in secret. Then your social media friends, who see what is done in public, will reward you.

“And when you pray, do not be like the old time puritans, for they love to pray in secret. Truly I tell you, they have missed out on their earthly reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and tweet about who and what you are praying for. You don’t even need to actually pray for the people. You just need to tell them you are praying. Most people draw more comfort from being told they are being prayed for than the fact that prayers are being made. Then your Followers, who see what is done online, will reward you.

Edit

It has come to our attention that the previous article is #FakeNews. Despite the fact that the above scenario is a current en masse trend.

Apparently, the real story is the one below.

Introduction to the Sermon on the Mount

5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,     for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn,     for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek,     for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,     for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful,     for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart,     for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers,     for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,     for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Giving to the Needy

6 “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Prayer

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

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